Monday, May 21, 2012


I've changed. It's unfortunate, really. I go over this blog and I'm saddened at the loss of the person I used to be. Back when I cared. Back when the future looked bright and everything made sense. It was lovely and peaceful. I had everything to gain and nothing to lose. That's gone now, sad to say. My innocence decided to pack its things and leave me behind with just a shadowy remnant of what I used to be. My family fell apart. My dad, it was discovered, had a two year affair with another woman. We had to sell our house, move, and create a new life for ourselves: my mom, sister, and me. Dad has lost his belief system and sense. Mom lost herself. My sister and I tried to move on, but living with an emotionally unstable mom did not help the situation. My anger at what was happening got in the way of my heart and I was 'kicked out' of the house on several occasions. At other times, I just left. My parents are getting a divorce and things are finally evening out a bit, but it's been difficult. It's caused me to question a lot of things, and I'm still not entirely sure where I stand. I will never stop believing in my God, but at the moment, I can't find it in my heart to trust that He has my best interest at heart. I know it's true, but I don't feel it at the moment. My discipline is gone. My health, my purpose, everything. Stripped away. It is almost as if God led me from a place of beauty and calm straight into a battle I wasn't prepared for. I am lying wounded and alone, but no one is there to pick me up out of the mire and gore and carry me to safety. It's a pity, but it's partially my fault. If I would let God do it, I know He would, but I am angry. He led me into the midst of the fray, didn't He? Yes, it is for a greater purpose. But at the moment I would rather lie dying than let Him touch me. Perhaps He and my father look too much alike. At any rate, if anyone reads this, pray for me. I want to revive the bright, fair maiden I used to be, but many things will have to change if I am to do so.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


For a spell anyway! Hello my dear, dear friends! As you can see, I've grown up a bit! Well, not much, but time has flown! I have started college, am on a job search, am no longer in a relationship... :( ...and have expanded my horizons.

Just a little. ;)

So much has changed for me. I went to Kenya a few weeks back and what a remarkable experience that was! I miss it, honestly. Everyone cares about each other, and the people are so teachable. They don't have to worry about how they look or what they do...they put on what they can and do whatever is presented to them. They are so humble. <3s to Kenya. A part of my heart was left there...

At any rate, this is just a short hello! How has life been, you guys?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I Could Never Love A Man In Tights

“I’m saving this kiss for the Prince of my heart!”

How many times have we ladies sung that? Even if you weren’t a part of PKSS or The Battle for the Heart, your thoughts have sung that line. My guess is that at the word prince, a picture of a handsome, romantic, richly dressed figure pops into your mind. For me, the idea of a prince makes my mind instantly jump to the bumbling Edward in Enchanted. You know the type: always smiling, hair set perfectly in place, completely rich and yet somehow never spoiled, pining away for the girl of his dreams. In short, I see a fairytale prince this way: Prince Plastic the Loaded, the helpless romantic in tights.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about the ‘Saving this Kiss’ song. I think that song portrays perfectly what a girl should be thinking when it comes to relationships. But personally, I just never loved the whole Prince Charming idea. Perhaps a certain maiden with hair so long it could be used as a ladder ruined that for me. Sword Fighter ≠ Damsel in Distress…the thought of leaning out of some window in a high tower, waving a hanky and wailing “SAVE ME!” at the top of my lungs, hoping that Prince Plastic would come to my rescue never appealed to me. But that’s just me.

I prefer the idea of the Knight in Shining Armor. Sure, he’s sweaty. He’s dirty. He probably smells like horse, and he can’t sing “I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss” like an actor in a Broadway musical. But that’s the man for me, and I’ll tell you why.

When you think of a knight, what first comes to mind? Probably a guy sitting atop a white charger in full armor, with a sword that never leaves his side. He’s most likely not the richest man in the village or township. In fact, he’s probably a farm-boy who’s been given a chance to make something of himself through a lifetime of service to King and Country. His years will be spent in and out of fighting. He will often come back wounded and beaten. But to me, he trumps the Prince ten to one.

Think about the characteristics of a knight.

First off, ponder the horse. It would be a shabby knight indeed if he rode up on an old sway-backed thing, its mane and tail all matted, mud and dirt caking it’s sides to such an extent that you couldn’t tell what color it originally was. That would be laughable! The strong, beautiful charger our minds picture displays a high level of responsibility. The Knight in Shining Armor is used to caring for other things. He makes sure that his steed is fed and cleaned and groomed.

Horse = Responsible, Caring.

Next comes the armor. When we think of the classic knight, we’re thinking full body armor. This guy is not going down in a battle because of exposure. The Knight in ‘Shining Armor’ has guarded himself from everything the world dishes out: arrows of impurity, spears of temptation, etc. Having said that, even the best suits of armor have weak points. That’s why the true Knight will be vigilant in the fray and flee the ‘spears and arrows’, not out of cowardice, but out of the knowledge of his weaknesses. The foolish knight will say, “I am strong enough to face these!” and rush headlong into the barrage. By the time he has realized his folly, it is too late and he limps away, riddled with the darts of the enemy. Sir Foolish is then scarred for life, and because of this, his personal effectiveness in future battles is limited…although through passing on his knowledge to other knights, he may save them from harm. The Knight in Shining Armor will have guarded himself so well that his scars are small or non-existent.

Armor = Pure, Regretless, Unsoiled Testimony.

Now comes my favorite part: the sword! No knight is a knight without a sword. Also, you never see a true Knight without his sword. He is constantly swinging it, keeping himself in practice so that if ever attacked, he won’t be caught off guard. The Knight in Shining Armor is the same, only his sword is not made of steel. He wields The Sword. He knows It up and down, and uses It so much that It becomes an extension of him. He carries the knowledge of his Sword with him always, and is not afraid to use It.

Sword = Devotion to God’s Word.

What is a knight’s duty? To serve the King and people. It is to be the strong example of stability and chivalry to the ones around him. ‘Nuff said.

Duty = Serve God, Serve Others, Be an Example of Righteousness

The life of a true Knight is constant battle. He knows and has accepted this fate with a heart full of trust in the King, and defiance for the enemy. When he rides into battle, the enemy ranks are filled with both hate and fear. His name is known to them, and because of his great deeds and his renown, they wish to strike him down. The Knight in Shining Armor is well trained, well armed, and well protected. But sometimes, even the best of fighters are overpowered. A true Knight will call to his fellow Knights for aid when the odds turn against him.

Fellow Knights = Humility, Accountability

So, to me, a Knight in Shining Armor is a man of character, of principle, and of God…one who is willing to devote his life to his King, one who will stand and fight when necessary and one who is not afraid to do the right thing by fleeing as well. To me, the grimy, sweaty Knight that may or may not rise to fame and fortune is MUCH more worthy than a Prince who sits on his backside all day, devoted to himself and his pleasures. Now, granted, not all Princes are like that. Some have the luxury of a God-fearing King and Queen that have guided him in the ways of chivalry. But for me, I want a Knight in Shining Armor, one who will be responsible, caring, pure, and will have no regret from a soiled testimony. I want a Knight who is devoted to God’s Word, one who willingly serves God and others, and is an example of righteousness. I want a Knight who is humble and who accepts and desires accountability. That’s the man for me. That is my Knight in Shining Armor. And that is why I could never love a man in tights. ;D

Monday, November 30, 2009

OH MY WORD!!!!!!! Among other things....


Oh, forgive me! Forgive me, my friends!!

On a completely different

Our play performance went off with a BANG!!! I'm going to post videos and perhaps pictures from it, and you'll be able to meet my friends! ;D

This is the final battle of good vs. evil. I come in sporting the awkward blue dress at around 1:18.

In this scene there is an ambush, and the gardener boy (Jesse) defends the castle. The three angelic characters are none other than Ben, Jordan, and Charles...who I haven't spoken of yet. lol

Here, the men are going off to war and adventure, and have a little fun before hand! ;D

And finally, here is the promo video, where you'll get to meet my swords intructor Mr. Chadwick, Ben, and Jordan up close and personal! :D Kevin is in 1:39, Leah is 1:43, My dad is 2:06 in the puffy, and I'm 4:37.


Friday, July 24, 2009

Friends, Part One

Greetings, all!

I have been thinking lately. Summer is nearly over, and I've had a great and busy one. It has been consumed with swords, teaching sword camps, plays, and many other things. But during the course of all this, two things have struck me, so strongly that I've almost been overwhelmed by happiness....and moved to tears.

Over this summer, I have been given the honor of getting to know some of the best people. They have been in my swords class for a long time, but since I have been a 'nube' as they call the beginners, for the longest time I didn't really get to know them. But as I got older and spent more time with them, I have discovered a gold mine of friends...some of which are two, three, or four years older than me!

Using first names only for privacy sake, I will attempt to tell you about them.

Kristen is my age, deathly quiet, but dedicated to what she loves. She and I are quite similar, and get along well. She loves horses with a passion. When I need a level conversation, I know I can talk to her.

Jesse is two years older than me. He's a hoot!! lol That boy cracks me up! He's hardly ever in a down mood, and an overall goofball, but that's why we love him. He loves the guitar, and he even plays with us sometimes. Definitely an encourager, Jesse's the one to go to if you want to laugh.

Jonathan is a year younger than me, but a good foot taller. Very quiet until you get to know him, he was a bit of mystery to me until lately. He has the most random but hilarious sense of humor. He'll look you straight in the eyes and ask you, "Why did you beat that old lady with a turkey drumstick?" His evil laugh is legendary, and he wants to be a sniper one day.

Jordan is three years older than me. He has the most infectious laugh! He has a sarcastic, slapstick sense of humor that is equally as funny as his brother, Jonathan's. He is often seen with a camera of some sort, snapping away. Or, if not that, he's filming something!

Jared is a year older than me. He is stylish, outgoing, and really gets the way girls think (having a sister). Everyone knows or has heard of him. The king of expressions, he is one to make you laugh, but Jared is also definitely one that will give you a hug when you're down. He is a very 'one way' sort of guy. Either he's happy and you know it, or he's not and you know it. He's really a great friend.

Ben is Jared's older brother. He is four years older than me, and if I were to describe him, a certain word would stick out in my mind: sword. He is a great swordsman, and eats, sleeps, and breathes the blade, I think. He is very similar to me as far as personality goes: more reserved, not into outlandishness and pretty content with life as it is. Oh, and did I mention his fighting style, stance, and hair is similar to a certain...*coughs* Anakin Skywalker *coughs*.....? ;)

Laura is Ben and Jared's younger sister. She's 5 or 6 years younger than me, but I love her to death. A good mixture of both of her brothers, she is perky, friendly, and loves all of her 'sisters' as she calls us girls at swords. Very appreciative of time spent with her, she is a considerate sweety pie.

Owen is two years older than me. He is something else (in a good way)! He put the slap in slapstick comedy. Very polite and respectful, Owen is always smiling and friendly...not to mention a very good Jedi/Elven fight builder! Erin go Bragh! (Or, something like that)

Leah is Owen's older sister. She is four years older than me, and a very motherly soul. She takes us girls under her wing, and if something is bothering us, she will be the first to come alongside you and talk. An accomplished actress with a bright, big smile, Leah will always be there for you.

Kevin is 2 or 3 years older than me, I believe. He and Owen can be heard shouting "Ireland forever!" and singing Celtic folk tunes together quite often. A giver of 'advice' (mainly teasing), he has a very keen eye for what you're feeling (he has a sister too). Kevin has a definite opinion, and he loves a good, clean, all-in-fun argument.

Catherine is a year younger than me, I think. She has lovely raven black hair. She and her brother Kevin love to tell a good story or two. But the thing that really says all about her is her laugh. She has a LAUGH! lol You could pick her out in a dark room by her laugh.

There are so many others, and to write about each and every one of them would take a lifetime! But as you can see, they are quite the group, and I am very glad to know such a God-driven group of young people!

Part 2 will be coming shortly.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Are People Born Wicked....

Greetings all!

I've just returned from a nice little vacation, and guess what? I got to see Wicked the Musical!

Now, I have had to endure months, and Months, and MONTHS worth of listening to this music before because of a certain IDINA...but I actually really enjoyed the musical live. It was interesting, exciting, the music was great even for hearing it 5,000 times...everything! I was very pleased.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Be Careful When You Read Aloud....

Greetings all!

I have stumbled onto a true treasure among books! Or, into I should say! Inkheart is a truly breath-taking novel by Cornelia Funke. I haven't read such a good book in a long time! It's got thrills, chills, laughs, cries, the whole nine yards!

Ever wish that you could speak with some of your favorite literary friends...such as Legolas, Captain Valithor, or Peter Pan? If you're a Silvertongue, that power is yours. Simply read aloud the words on a page and these characters leave their world behind and enter yours! But the consequences are dire, especially if you read in an accidental villian or two. And some characters, like my particular favorite in this novel named Dustfinger, simply wish to go home. But once read out, they can never be read back in. Or can they? I have fallen in love with this book. It is amazingly well written, holds your interest, and if you're a real book lover, you'll simply die at some of the things that happen! But you'll have to read it (or watch it if you want a watered down version) to see for yourself!!!